My various investigations into resilience tend to talk about change an awful lot, often framing people as either embracing change or being change-averse, and talking about how to become more open to change.
And, analyzing my own life, I realized that this is a huge fallacy. Change is not a monolith. I (and, I assume, others) embrace change when it's a good change, but want to avoid it when it's a bad change.
For example, I was (and still am) absolutely thrilled about being given the opportunity to work from home rather than going into the office very day. But that's not because I like change per se, that's because working from home is in all ways superior to working in the office.
And I was stressed like crazy about having to do without my computer when it was being repaired. But that's not because I dislike change per se, that's because not having a computer is in all ways inferior to having a computer.
I find I am more resistant to change in many areas as life goes on, but that's not because I'm growing to dislike change in my old age. That's because I've been able to figure out how to make more and more areas of my life optimal, so change would make them worse, whereas before I was able to make those areas of life optimal, change would simply make them different.
For example, when I lived in one of the many 1970s highrises in my neighbourhood, with no dishwasher and the laundry in the basement and a small silverfish invasion every spring and fall, I wouldn't have been disappointed if I'd had to change apartments, because there was clear room for improvement and many comparable buildings (with room for better to exist). But then when I moved to my current apartment, which was brand new when I moved in and had all the appliances, much better management and construction, and averaged only one bug a year, I would have been distraught about having to move because there wasn't, to my knowledge or within the reach of my research, anything comparable in existence. (Now there is, but there wasn't for several years after I moved in.)
This has nothing to do with my attitudes about change itself, but rather with the fact that leaving good housing for mediocre housing is different from leaving mediocre housing for other mediocre housing.
My inner conspiracy theorist wonders if this "openness to change" thing is a conspiracy. I'm sure most people welcome change when it's an improvement and dread it when it makes things worse. But by presenting "openness to change" as a virtue, perhaps the powers that be are trying to shame or embarrass people into speaking up against changes that will make our lives worse?
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There is also the variable of control over change. When you create a change in your own life, you can prepare for it. But when change is thrust upon you and you have zero say or choice, it's much harder to deal with.
I always think of children in this regard, how little control they have over their own lives.
Anyway, I do think there's something to your conspiracy theory. Resiliency is a positive trait, I believe, but it also becomes a buzzword and an excuse for companies and managers to not take workers' needs into account, then blame them for their own lack of resiliency.
Also, admonitions to "deal with it" and accept the way things are, as if that is the way things must be, are definitely used against people and groups trying to create positive change. I think this supports your inner conspiracy theory.
Now that you mention creating change in our own lives, I realize that I don't really think of it as "change" when it's my own doing. Moving into my condo will be stressful because moving is stressful and because my financial situation will temporarily be precarious and because I'm sure I'm going to mess something up or fail to realize I need to do something, what with this being a complex undertaking I've never done before. The fact that I'll be over there instead of over here isn't even a factor.
Although individual changes that are inflicted by others I don't think of as "change" either. Working from home is good because I don't have to commute or work in an open-plan office that's unsuitable for my work, not because it's different. Losing my job would be bad because I wouldn't have income and would have to job hunt, not because it's different.
It's the resilience people who are even talking about "change" like it's the most relevant aspect in the first place!
What do you think of as change?
For me, it means moving, or a change of employment, or employment status, a death of someone close, a relationship upheaval, major illness. Big Life Changes.
Wow, I expressed myself really unclearly there!
I didn't mean to say "I don't consider these things to fall under the category of 'Change'". I meant to say "When these things are happening, I don't think 'OMG, change!', I think 'OMG, moving!'" They are change, but I think about them more specifically as "I am experiencing change," and therefore don't see "change" as one big monolithic thing that can be summarized with a single strategy or set of advice.
Possible analogy: when you're falling in love you don't think "I am experiencing emotions!", you think "I am falling in love!" You are experiencing emotions, but that's not relevant to describing or analyzing or coping with your experience, because things like grief and anger are also emotions and require vastly different approaches.
Ah, that makes more sense.
These days I actually think of these change almost as Generic Change. When I get anxious or feel overwhelmed, I think, this is a time of transition, and transitions are hard, and it will pass. It helps me feel more calm, more accepting of the situation.
On my tablet, the "prove you're not a robot" verification was select every picture of a birthday cake. I've never seen that before!
I had something similar elsewhere (haven't seen it on Blogger yet) and it said to select every hamburger. But some of the pictures shown were kind of ambiguous and I couldn't tell if they were hamburgers or not! I passed the verification though.
I've been outright skipping it on Blogger though and it still lets me comment, at least on my own blog.
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