A while back, I came up with the idea of interviewing bullies and other mean people to get inside their head and find out what they're thinking.
Turns out Salon is doing it, having people interview their bullies! Half of me thinks this is brilliant, half of me thinks no good can possibly come of it, and half of me wishes I was brave enough to do it myself.
6 comments:
Wow! Imp Strump, if you could work up the courage to do this, it could be one of the most powerful things you ever did in your life.
In the 1990s, I did the "Model Mugging" program. I trained to fight, then re-enacted the scene of my assault, but this time fighting back and knocking out my assailant.
It took a lot of special training to work up to it. In our first fight sessions, I was beyond terrified. But by the end, I did it.
I have never felt stronger or more proud in my life. Somewhere deep inside me, I carry that feeling with me to this day.
I share that with you hoping you might do this one day.
I suspect, in my case, the bad feelings and damage that would ensue if it didn't go as well as I hoped would far outweigh any potential positive outcome.
I can't get to the Salon story, so I don't know if it's an actual interview with the actual bully (how would one find them? Why would they agree to be interviewed?) or, more likely, some kind of simulation, a re-enactment, as my experience was. If it's the re-enactment, it's almost certain to go well.
But I knew about MM for years before I did it; the timing has to be right. If you feel it would be a negative experience, then it's not the right time (at the least).
Oops, corrected the link. This is the first article in the series.
They suggest finding the bully on facebook and actually interviewing them. Finding them on facebook is easy enough, but I can't imagine why they'd agree to be interviewed for publication, at least not in a scenario that would also provide some kind of closure or satisfaction for the interviewer.
That's not really an interview - it's a confrontation. Without a moderator and support for both parties, it's doomed. And potentially damaging.
So much for my Model Mugging comparison!
Of course I'm posting this before having read the article, but based on what you're saying, I'm glad you aren't doing it.
A moderator would be interesting if they could find a way to carry it off effectively! I certainly do have some questions I'd like to get answered by my bullies, but I wouldn't want to remind them of my existence unless I could be certain they couldn't hurt me (emotionally). Having someone present to scold them if they're mean would be helpful. (Oddly, no one ever did that in school.)
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