For your amusement, my bathroom neuroses

1. If the person in the stall next to me is peeing way more than I am (i.e. she's making a waterfall and I'm making a trickle) I feel guilty for taking up a stall when other people obviously need it way more than me.

2. Once upon a time, I saw someone on the internet mention that they hate it when long-haired women toss their hair around. Ever since then, I try to avoid fixing my hair (a very hair-tossing undertaking) when someone short-haired is in the bathroom. Or, if a short-haired woman walks in while I'm in the middle of doing my hair, I try to do it in a way that doesn't draw attention to the length.

3. If there are other people in the bathroom, none of whom are wearing makeup, I don't fix my makeup then because I feel weird taking up counter space for something the other people don't need to do because they feel secure enough in their skin. Even though there is enough room in the bathroom and non-makeup people do tend to say "Good on you for making an effort" rather than "I don't understand how anyone can waste their time smearing a bunch of goop on their face."

4. If I'm just sitting in a stall to decompress or whatever and someone else comes in and I'm not ready to leave the stall, I loudly open a maxi-pad. However, I also loudly open maxi-pads when I am in fact menstruating and sitting in a stall a long time to deal with heavy menstruation, so you'll never know which one it is on any given day.