Whenever I exercise, it brings out any anger I might be feeling. And I don't mean that in a good way, like that the anger gets channelled into the exercises and then burned out. I mean that the act of exercises takes any latent anger I might be feeling and draws it to the surface, so I find myself yelling at people who have wronged me in the past, and occasionally at the exercise people on the screen when they're giving me bad instructions.
I don't like this. I don't like the person it makes me. I never get angry at non-immediate things, except while I'm exercising. I'm a much better person when I'm sedentary. It would be enough to make me stop exercising forever, were it not for the need to keep my blood pressure low enough to stay on the pill and the circumference of my body small enough to not drift into plus-size clothing.
11 comments:
Wow. That's amazing, so opposite of my own experience of exercise as a mood lifter and lightener. If that happened to me, I don't know if I could motivate myself to move at all.
God. I thought it was just me. I don't know what to do about it. And I HAVE drifted into the plus-sized clothing, so now I have to exercise not just to maintain, but to lose weight. I'm always angry and resentful about it.
So I am not alone. Not only does exercising make me feel angry, just the thought of it makes me feel angry. I was walking on my treadmill earlier in the year & enjoying it. It was a challenge, but I was doing it. Then my daughter came home from college and she closed up my treadmill and moved things all around and I stopped exercising. So I am back to being computer potato and feeling miserable as I slowly edge toward heart disease & death. My daughter says go out to walk. I say why? I had old computer hitched up & set up so I could use it while I walked on the treadmill until she moved it all around so I couldn't move it easily back. I could also watch TV if I wanted and walk. This all keeps my mind occupied while doing the "aimless" business of exercise. Yes, I know exercise has a goal, keeping our bodies healthy, but it is boring as can be. I wish we could do it while we slept then I would enjoy exercising because I wouldn't feel trapped by its monotony.
Have to make this 2 posts Val#1
Anyways, a few months ago I realized how the whole thought of exercising made me feel angry. Especially doing it the way someone else tells me I should do it. I thought this doesn't make sense with all that baloney they say about how exercise helps reduce anger and mostly I've always felt angry when exercising. So I googled and found a great article regarding this which I have not been able to find again. I wished I had bookmarked it, but I didn't. But from what I remember the writer said some people feel angry when they think about exercising or when they exercise and this is because they have a lot of anger & resentments which aren't dealt with. Basically because anger & resentment is surpressed and perhaps we have hidden feelings of not being in control, when we think about or begin exercising we are releasing chemicals which cause us to feel our hidden anger & resentments. We might also feel out of control if we are not exercising in a mannner which makes us feel in control. I felt in control when exercising on my treadmill where I could read a book or paper, use the computer or watch TV. I know I felt better and weighted a few pounds less last spring. Then my daughter took control away from me and rather then immediately trying to reassert my control, I just let it go. And I know I have a lot of anger, resentment & bitterness at the fact my family walks all over me (not just this incident) and labels me crazy even if I appropriately express my displeasure. I used to yell quite a bit (not all the time) and it didn't work, nothing seems to work with getting family members to do the things they should. C'est la vie. But anyway, I've spent the last few weeks moving things around again so I can get things set up the way they were before last summer and I plan to start walking again while on the computer. I've given my daughter the warning that this small corner of the basement family room is mine and while she is home for Christmas break, she is not to move stuff around again. I know I will feel better and more in control if I do it my way, not the way other's do it. I used to like to do the 1 mile walk tape with Leslie Sasone. I had enough space beside the bed to do all the moves then things were moved around in there and I stopped because there wasn't enough room to make the moves. I might have to rearrange things so I can do that on occasion. Another way to feel in control. I hope some of what I said helps. I think its finding a way to exercise which suits yous and makes you feel in control. A few years ago, I tried the Y but felt out of control there. There were always people signed up for machines and not showing up or if you got on them they showed up 1/2 way into your walk. Plus exercising with rabbits when your just a turtle is not good for ones self confidence. So I quit the gym and bought the treadmill and decided if I set it up right, I could read, use the computer or watch TV while walking. Occassionally I use the hand weights while walking but mostly I walk and read or play a game. Today's goal is to plug in the computer & jump on the tread mill to walk 10-15 mins. I've been sendetary too long and heart disease scares me. Val#2
Exercise gives me lots of energy. And I love doing it to clear any brain fog I might encounter. However, it does make me very angry. I started exercising regularly and at the end of the month I felt extremely aggressive and prone to tantrums. It's an overall change in personality that results from regular physical activity and I'd like to know why this happens.
What 'Anonymous' said sounds right. Exercising does feel good, leaves me feeling energized. But in a couple I usually want to strangle my spouse. I chosen to exercise because I want to feel better, and I don't handle scrutiny on that well. "You're not doing it right, You need to do more cardio than that, you're hardly burning any calories" What the heck, there is a fine line between encouragement and nagging, leave me alone, when did this become your endeavor?
So now I'm trying to not exercise because of a body image problem, I JUST WANT TO FEEL GOOD. And now every little criticism is bugging me. I'm trying to not let it, but it's hard, and I'm not going to stop exercising, because as angry as I am, I need to suck it up, get over it and keep at it. Because as I get healthier, I'm lighter and lighter on the treadmill, I can even dance on it, I can take wider hops almost like flying for a moment. And my anger is subsiding. My goal to feel better is achieved.
And as my anger subsides I realize the criticism my spouse gave me was actually aimed at themselves, And the criticism I felt was from me. I just couldn't see that when I was so blinded by anger.
A bit of time apart can't hurt either, especially right before and after exercising. A little meditation, a glass of wine.
Cheers.
LeeAnn's comment is exactly what I'm going through. I'm exercising quite a bit, 8-10 hours a week, most of it in group exercise, I feel great! I have more mobility, I'm toning, tons more energy but I am also more aggressive and more irritable than I've ever been in my life.
I experiance the same thing. I am not an angry or violent person by any means, but after a little bit of exercise i become terrifying to myself and others. I become uncontrollably angry and violent - the exercise itself makes my nausious and irritated... i feel exactly the opposite of what everyone says i'm suppose to feel. the worst part is that anyone who i've told this to just tell me "oh you're just making it up, everyone gets soar after exercise, but you should get an adrenaline high and feel better - you're obviously just not working hard enough" the fact is, i do work hard enough, every time. i've had a trainer, i've went to classes... all these things do EXACTLY the same thing - makes me angry, upset and physically ill.
Same here. Doing Yoga usually helps.
at the start of when i exercize i feel fine , until it starts to hurt . when the exercizing hurts all my anger builds up and i shout , pout, then stop doing it , embarresing my self in front of every body , when i have stopped half way though i get a great big lump in my throught and i cant stop crying, i think its to do with the fact that i cant do it properly and give up , i feel like hitting some one and smashing every thing in the gym , i am not that kind of person , i dont know whether i have anger issues or depression but when i cry all these thoughts come into my head like , im going to stop exercize completely and stop eating , its like i wish i could be anerrexsic, i dont want to eat , i feel like food is my enemy , and all week after trying but not suceeding to exercize , i lay in my bed rapped in my thoughts and i dont come out , i know this is definatley not normal but it happens every time , but every time i think i shoudnt eat , i end up eating 3 times the amount i should be eating because im upset , im so angry all the time and its consuming me and making my mum up set because she is my personal trainer , iv not even left school yet and this is not what i should be focusing my energy on , i dont know whats wrong with me and i wish this could stop.
Exercises makes me really angry too. I hate when something doesn't go my way and in exercises nothing goes my way - I sweat too much, my muscles are too weak, time passes way too slow, and what is worse - I hate the possibility of somebody seeing my failure. When I exercise and I hear I'm not home alone, I always think I'm going to be laughed at or criticized for failing at exercises. The only exercise I can to is walking and only because I can move away from people as far as possible.
People say that anger gives people a boost to exercise. Well, in my case it only totally shutdown thinking. I personally don't think that kicking an equipment for not working the way you want (for example for creaking too loud) or biting your own arm hard enough to see meat for being too weak is a good idea.
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